


A Fool in Love

by moonlitfool



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/M, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, M/M, Mentioned Rika (Mystic Messenger), Past Rika/V | Kim Jihyun, Unrequited Love, also this oneshot includes, i forgot to add this tag a while back but, ik v would never do this to mc but just let me and my writing be, the beginning is cheesy AF but don't let that distract you from the
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:47:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23405506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlitfool/pseuds/moonlitfool
Summary: Every night you wish upon the blanket of stars that your love for Jihyun will be enough to fill in the empty gaps of his heart, but it never comes true. It will never come true.In which Jihyun’s past relationship with Rika forever destroys his ability to love you.
Relationships: Han Jumin/Main Character, Han Jumin/Reader, V | Kim Jihyun/Main Character, V | Kim Jihyun/Reader
Comments: 16
Kudos: 181





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> IDK WHY, but i wanted to write an angsty ~~one-shot~~ staring your one and only photographer. c: needless to say, this diverges a lot from canon :P this takes place after his after ending! i wrote this as a first draft, but i never edited it bc I'm lazy, hehe. pls excuse me for any mistakes >.> ~~ASKJABSKJ and i am so sorry for the angst, I KNOW HE WOULD NEVER DO THIS BUT~~
> 
> p.s. i was listening to [hug me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ogyHesy5fI) by jung joon il. a lot of inspo for this oneshot also came from [i don't like her](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4fAY-zesnQ) by iu!!
> 
> EDIT: **It's not a oneshot anymore xP i got requested for part 2!!**

It’s easy falling in love with Kim Jihyun.

His smile, his eyes, his voice, his laughter—that’s how he manages to catch your eye in the midst of a hundred people. When you stand with the RFA members during the party and lock eyes with him, it almost feels as if it were only you and him who existed in this world. The little friendly nod Jihyun gives before he shyly averts his gaze sends your heart fluttering away so many times that you’d lose count. You even find yourself holding your breath as you bring your attention back to the other party members.

The memory of his finger grazing against yours burns into your skin whenever you hand him something. The way he acts as if you were like a doll, delicate to the touch, is unlike how the other men in your life treat you. Not to mention how considerate he is towards you and the other members, especially to Yoosung who dislikes him so much. It’s only a matter of time before you notice his ladykiller gentleman combo that he performs on each guest, and you only stare in awe each time it happens because there’s nothing more you know of that moment than the quickening beat of your heart.

That’s when you realize how deeply you’ve fallen for Kim Jihyun.

You are in love with Kim Jihyun.

Utterly and _foolishly_ in love with Kim Jihyun.

Whenever you lay eyes on him, you silently curse yourself for desiring a man so beyond your caliber, a man put so far away from your reach. You will never ever be able to comprehend an enigma like him. You will never ever be able to fully heal the cracks that Rika left in his being—you know that, and yet you refuse to put the butterflies in your stomach to sleep.

Insecurities begin to bloom next to your affection for him. You don’t think anybody, much less yourself, could ever capture his attention after what happened with Rika and her entanglement with Mint Eye. Even after her dirty lies and secrets were exposed, you could still feel yourself struggling to climb out of her shadow. But, Jihyun proves you wrong when he confesses to you in front of everybody during a party, a silky voice charming you with poetic-like words.

“ _My greatest blessing came in the form of you, MC._ ”

In that moment, all your worries surrounding the memories of Rika haunting your relationship with the members lifts, freeing you from toxicity. And with that, he sends any negative thought you ever had about yourself into the abyss.

The more time that goes by, the more you establish a place for yourself within the RFA. Zen finally makes it big in the entertainment industry, work throwing itself at him left and right; Yoosung learns how to feel more comfortable and confident in his own skin, carving out a path made for himself; Jaehee is free from her duties as an assistant, choosing to open a small café catering to coffee and pastries; Jumin untangles his twisted threads and breaks out of his cold shell, confiding in people other than Jihyun and Elizabeth the Third; Seven, at last, reunites with his brother and is living the life he’s always dreamt of.

And Jihyun? He’s by your side, your hand tightly in his grasp.

 _Ah, so this is what happiness feels like_ , you think to yourself, every goddamn time you look at the man who shines so brightly like the sun. There’s nothing in this world that you can’t take on headfirst because now… now you have everything you’ve ever wanted and needed.

Every night you wish upon the blanket of stars that your love for Jihyun will be enough to fill in the empty gaps of his heart, that it would be enough for him to heal and put his pain behind him. 

Every night you wish upon the blanket of stars that your love for Jihyun will be enough to fill in the empty gaps of his heart, but it never comes true. 

It will never come true.

It’s all but a fleeting dream, melting in the palm of your trembling hands. Everything you’ve experienced so far is like cotton candy accidentally dipped in milk. It’s dissolving, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Four words that spill from Jihyun’s mouth, those four words that you refused to admit since you’ve met him—these four words rip blue skies, sunny days, honey-like laughter and smiles harshly from your fingertips. Along with it, the end of the red thread tied tightly around your pinky finger is cut.

“MC,” Jihyun starts off. He’s looking down at his side, hands clenched into shaking fists. “I still love Rika.”

The book you’ve been reading falls to the ground with a thud, pages crumpled up against the ground just like the chapter you’ve been writing with Jihyun. His voice which used to make your heart swell up with warmth and happiness now wraps tightly around your weakening heart, squeezing harder and harder. It’s so hard to breathe, but still, you meekly reply—though it only comes out as a whisper. “... What?”

“MC… I’m still in love with Rika.” Jihyun repeats your name, a tinge of desperation leaking into his pitiful tone. It’s a tone you’ve last heard back in Mint Eye’s garden, one you’d rather not hear again. “We… we began talking again and… _everything_ came flooding back.”

He still loves Rika.

When has it never been Rika?

A sharp hiccup shoots through your body as you try to hold it in, scrunching your face up and eyes shut tight. It’s spinning inside your head. Again, again, and again—Rika will be the one to end your happiness. “What about me?” You refuse to look at him. It’ll hurt too much. Instead, when you open your eyes, you’re staring at his feet. And you want to laugh because Jihyun stands there, wearing socks you’ve bought for his last birthday. Socks with laughing kittens on it, it depicts everything opposite of what you’re feeling right now.

“I don’t know.”

Those words flip a switch in you. The ugliness that you’ve suppressed since day one of meeting him comes spewing out of your mouth, and you hate yourself for not being better, for not being the person he wants and needs. “But,” you bite the inside of your cheek, choking on your tears, “you were doing great! We were going to marry and adopt a child and name her ‘Lucy’ and—”

Jihyun tries to reach out to you, arms coaxing you to return to his embrace. But, as much as you want to, you don’t. “I’m so, so sorry, MC.” 

Hearing him also on the verge of breaking down, it makes you so irrationally bitter. The moment his cold fingertips graze the side of your arm, you shiver, flinching away as if he had just held the butt of a cigarette to your skin. “Don’t touch me, V.”

The sound of his breathing halts a bit when you call him by his nickname before he lets his arm drop lifelessly to his side. “I… I think I just put a facade up around you and the other RFA members.” This is not what you want to hear right now. You don’t want to hear apologies, excuses, the end of your relationship. All you want to hear is the sweet whispers of his heart to yours, _but you don’t_. “I hid everything that was real to me underneath for you guys… for _you_.”

“Don’t!” You cry out, hands clasped over your head and ears. “Don’t make it out to be my fault or anybody else's!”

Every tick of the clock hanging above your head is like the shattering of your heart. You’re trying so hard to hold it together, to catch all the pieces that fall out of its hold. Even though you’re trying so hard to keep yourself sane, Jihyun speaks again, a shakier voice than before. And you wonder to yourself why the _hell_ is he the one breaking down when it should be _you_. “I lo—”

“What do you know about love, huh?!” You spit out angrily. “Tell me! Tell me what love is!” Then, though you still don’t dare to make eye contact, you turn to him, holding a clenched hand to your chest. “You told me that your love for her was an obsession. You told me…! You told me you didn’t know what love was before you met me! You told me that you never truly loved her! How could you go back on your words and tell me that you love… her?! Did I not love you enough?! I’m right in front of you! Have you ever truly looked at me?!” The pain from your crying makes your head throb uncontrollably.

When Jihyun replies, you can tell he’s on the verge of wailing his heart out to you. You’ve never seen this side of him, except for the time he chose to drink the elixir to save _you_. “I’m so sorry…! I didn’t know what I was saying. I was not in the right mind… I was delirious!”

And every goddamn time he responds, it feels like he’s intentionally out to get you, as if you did him wrong and that he’s only getting you back now. “Delirious?!” Finally, raising your head to look at him, you see flushed cheeks, bloodshot eyes, streams of tears that you so badly want to wipe away. “Are you telling me everything we went through ‘till now _was a lie_?!”

“... I don’t know.”

You must look beyond disgusting right now, wiping the tears and snot off your face, your expression twisted beyond belief. “You think telling me that you don’t know will make this any better?! Why do you always try to act on your own will… on your own beliefs?! Don’t you know that it hurts other people? Don’t you know that it hurts me?”

He doesn’t say anything this time. The only things you can hear now is the thundering of your soul and his pathetic sniffles.

“How much...” This time your voice comes out hoarse like a whisper, even though you don’t want to appear weak in front of him. “How much did you love her for you to _do_ this to me?”

“A lot.” He didn’t hesitate.

His hesitation is because of you.

Now you realize this.

All this time you thought it was because he needed more time to heal from _her_.

But…

It was because he never truly loved you.

The fact that he doesn’t say the words, _I don’t know_ , is what punches you in the gut over and over again. You’ve completely lost to Rika, the number one person you hate in this stupid life of yours.

You wish you never fell for him, but you don’t want him out of your life. You wish you never fell for him, but you’re glad you met him. You wish you never fell for him. You wish you fell for someone else. Someone who could treat you as you deserve.

You two just stand in silence. Neither of you guys are the first to speak in a long while. It feels like hours, like days before you shift back to where you were sitting before. You don’t have enough energy to move, but you pick up the poor book that fell out of your hold and straighten out the pages. It’s a book that Jihyun gifted you for your first anniversary, and even though he’s _done this to you_ , you still love him.

You love him. A man who knows how to treat a lover, a man who knows how to charm people of all kinds, a man like _Kim Jihyun_ —you knew it was too good to be true for someone like him to truly love you. For someone as beautiful as him, for someone who’s gone through such a serious relationship before you, for someone like _him_ to choose _you_ —it felt like a dream come true.

You love him too much.

When’s the last time you’ve felt _this_ happy with someone? You can’t remember.

Because you really thought… you _really_ thought that Kim Jihyun was the one for you.

“I guess this is it, huh?” You mumble, scratching harshly at your fingers. “I’ll... pack up and move out by this week.”

Jihyun tries to reach out to you again, but you dodge. This time you head for the door, it’ll be way too painful to stay in the same house as him, much more the same room. “From the bottom of my heart, I—“

You shake your head, a tired laugh escaping your lips. “V… What are you talking about? People with a heart… They…” You sigh, all the fight leaving your body. You give up. 

Then, instead of finishing your sentence, you shut the front door close and walk out of the story you’ve written with him, though he doesn’t need to hear the rest of that sentence to know what you mean. Jihyun only stares blankly at the door. You didn’t even spare him another glance as you left, even though he was begging for you, with every single fiber in his body, to turn around—that way he would know you could forgive him.

You refuse to go back to him, and you don’t know if you can even forgive him. Whether it means cutting ties with him completely or just ending the relationship, you have yet to decide. Deep down inside, however, you wish that you can still leave with a piece of Jihyun’s heart, even if it were just a fragment.

(You never will.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which your past relationship with Jihyun will forever destroys your ability to love Jumin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, I wasn’t going to continue this piece until a tumblr anon came along, hehe! And I’ve got to say that I like this better now that it’s in two parts :3 Honestly, you could just read part one and consider that the end (since it was a oneshot for a short while).

It’s hard falling out of love with Kim Jihyun.

His color, his words, his love, his existence—that’s how he manages to make a home in your mind as the days crawl by. When you gaze up at the great sky above, it almost feels as if you’re living in the past, intense eyes trapping you in another dimension beyond this one. The beautiful, bright sun that sits above the earth becomes a sight your stomach drops at, a sight that you’re growing to detest. You even find yourself waking up hours after the sunset, not being able to focus on a single entity in this world that won’t remind you of him.

The memory of your heart shattering right in the palm of his hands whenever you let him spit an excuse, one right after another. The way he acts heartbroken, as if he’s not the person holding the scissors about to cut the red string connecting the both of you. Not to mention how easily he let you slip out past that door and out of the cracks of his heart, especially after so many years with him. It’s only a matter of time before you notice the many pieces of your life that you’ve lost to the past, and you only stare blankly at the night sky because there’s nothing more you know of that moment than that single wish that the stars failed to grant you.

That’s when you realize how deeply you’ve fallen for Kim Jihyun.

You are stuck in love with Kim Jihyun.

Utterly and _foolishly_ stuck in love with Kim Jihyun.

Whenever images of his face flash endlessly through your mind, you silently curse yourself for desiring a man so beyond your caliber, a man put so far away from your reach. You will never ever be able to comprehend an enigma like him. You will never ever be able to fully heal the cracks that Rika left in his being—you know that all too well by now.

“MC.” You hear a voice murmur from your backside. But as much as you want to turn around and see who’s calling out to you, there’s a heavy sensation weighing down on your body and mind, almost as if the heavens decided to burden you with a thousand years worth of broken glass hearts and unspoken words. “None of this was your fault.”

Tiredly closing your eyes, you hum back and burrow yourself deeper into the heavy sheets, unsure if their comment is worth agreeing or disagreeing with.

“So I wish…” You can hear them hesitate for a moment. “I wish... you wouldn’t _kill_ yourself so much over him. _I wish_ —” Their words break off, silence hanging uncomfortably in the air.

Then, you can feel them lean their forehead against your back, trembling ever so slightly that you begin to wonder if it’s actually resonating from within you.

(And before drifting off into a land you don’t want to ever wake up from, you want to tell this person that wishes don’t come true. Never.

No matter how much you wish for it.

No matter how many times you wish for it.

No matter how hard you wish for it.

It will never _ever_ come true.

It never did for you.)

* * *

_It’s been twelve days since you’ve left home._

_In these twelve days, you’ve become placeless, not really belonging anywhere in a home or a heart (though there’s only one place you can think of that you’d really like to return to). You don’t even have a car to live in. You don’t even have enough money for one, even after selling most of your possessions without a heartstring attached to it. In these twelve days, you’ve gone radio silent in all of the RFA’s group chats, turning the notifications to that app silent. You still leave the notifications for_ him _on, but in these twelve days, you don’t receive any calls or texts or anything._

_In these twelve days, the traces of your relationship with him completely disappears underneath the falling snow._

_And as much as it pains you, you don’t blame him._

_You_ can’t _blame him._

_After all, there’s no need to love things that do not bring beauty into this world. There’s no need to love unnecessarily._

_(There’s no need to love you when there’s her, her who basks so innocently under the sun and all its glory.)_

_His name is written on everything you see, everywhere you look. All you can sense is him, especially on clear days with a vibrant, blue sky. That’s why you try to spend all your time in temporary shelters like public bathhouses and internet cafes, waking up later to the moon and the ignorant stars. Even though it’s wintertime, you spend your time wandering the streets on a blank canvas, ignoring your frostbitten fingers and nose._

_And the thought of asking anybody for help, any of the members for help, makes you feel sick to your stomach, especially since they were Jihyun’s_ _friends first. The pride that swells within your chest won’t allow you to seek help. You’d rather be lying down in your grave than be caught asking for the things that you need because of him._

_You know from the bottom of your heart that you’re as cherished as any other member in the RFA, but you just can’t find it within yourself to reach out to them and tear them apart over a relationship that ended because you were not enough._

_You’d rather be lying down in your grave._

_So when you feel like you can’t go on anymore, you take it to a literal sense and plop down on the park grounds, watching as your breath turns into small white clouds. Being by yourself like this, it’s lonely but serene at the same time. You don’t even care if you look silly to the outside world, resting like this under the snow._

_Soon enough, your sight begins to blur the white burying you with the darkness. And you think to yourself as you lose consciousness that it’s…_ truly _been a while since you felt so at peace._

* * *

When you awake, Jihyun’s best friend has your hand tightly in his hold as he sleeps by the bedside, grimace deeply etched into his face.

His skin against yours, it feels even worse than the throbbing pain threatening to split your head in half as you try to pull away from his fingertips. The blanket is almost like an elephant sitting on top of your chest—it’s so hard to breathe that your vision begins to twinkle. There’s heat building up on your forehead, droplets trickling down the side, but you don’t even have the strength to wipe it away.

It’s not that you don’t like Jumin. 

Really, it’s not.

But to be with a person who loves Jihyun and who Jihyun loves so much, it leaves a fresh wound on your soul, knowing that you don’t belong on that list anymore. You don’t have Jihyun’s love anymore.

(Not that you ever had it anyways.)

There are tears tickling the back and corners of your eyes. You can feel your nose flare up and mouth press into a straight line like it always does before a cry rips through your body. After you hiccup, your throat closes up, sending you into a fit of uncontrollable coughing. The sound of your choking shocks Jumin out of his sleep, and he shoots right up in his chair, clearly distressed.

Then, out of the corner of your eye, you notice something that makes you want to cry even more.

Through your tears, you can see a deep set of dark circles forming under his reddened eyes. His hair is unkempt, almost as if he hadn’t the time to brush it at all. The tie normally around his neck is completely undone as so the few top buttons of his dress shirt. He looks like a zombie, cheeks all hollowed out like he hasn’t eaten in a while. 

But no, it’s not how messily Jumin appears to you that makes you cry.

No.

It’s how he looks at you that makes you cry.

Pressing the back of his hand to your burning forehead, his face contorts even further. It’s nothing you’ve ever seen before. “MC, you’re burning up again!” Jumin dips out of your vision, only to resurface with a wet towel, reaching to gently pat your face with it. With his free hand, his fingers catch the tears falling from your flooding eyes, cupping it gently like the first snow of winter.

“Close your eyes and go back to sleep.” Jumin pleads ever so quietly, although it sounds more like an empty demand. “I’ll be here when you awake again, I promise.”

It’s there again, that look, the one that makes you want to cry so much.

You swear that there’s an expression on Jumin’s face that you can recognize in the midst of your delirium. It sends a swirl of anxiety and lament spiraling down into the depths of your heart. The way his mouth relaxes from his normal tense position, the way he gently tilts his head in response to your words, the way his eyes soften when his gaze meets yours, it’s one you know all too well.

The way that Jumin looks at you, it drags you back to bittersweet memories that leave another hole in your chest with every visit. The way that Jumin looks at you, it makes your world race so erratically and intolerably that nausea begins to feel familiar to you.

The way that Jumin looks at you, it spells out the contents of an ungranted wish tucked into the sleeve of a paper airplane, an unrequited love that fate enjoys weaving into people’s lives.

The way that Jumin looks at you, it reminds you of sunny days with bright blue skies and a field full of flowers of all colors burning into a pile of old ash.

The way that Jumin looks at you, it’s exactly the way _you_ used to look at _Jihyun_. 

The way that _Jumin_ looks at _you_ , it’s exactly the way _Jihyun_ used to look at _her_.

(It’s not that you don’t like Jumin.

Really, it’s not.

You just can’t stand the way he looks at you.)

* * *

_“I don’t want to play right now, Jihyun.” Jumin breathes out desperately into his phone, volume not any louder than a whisper. “Jihyun, please speak to me...”_

_There’s no answer at the other end of the line._

_“All I ask of you is the truth.” The words tumble out harshly from his lips, elegance and calmness completely void from his voice. “How could the love you have for_ her _surpass our friendship so easily? How is it that you’re so willing to throw everything you’ve built with the RFA, with MC, with… me away?”_

_The bells of happily never afters echoes in the distance, near enough to sting the inside of his eardrums. There’s a photograph of him and Jihyun that sits on the corner of his desk, lonely yet beautiful. The Jihyun that the camera captures stares right back at him with a tenderness to his vibrant eyes, somehow more alive than the Jihyun he knows now. Shoved deep into the corner of his mind, Jumin wishes that he could’ve met young Jihyun as the him now, rather than the him from the past. Perhaps then would he be able to prevent such a distasteful outcome, though there’s a reason why wishes stay as wishes._

_Still, Jumin hears nothing but the last few pages of their story breezing by with a “whoosh.”_

_“Well, not even in my wildest imaginations, did I ever feel this hurt.” Jumin says after a moment and with a chuckle, empty of humor. His finger idly traces the picture frame, following along with the ridges along the side to the end. Then, as casual as he can put it, Jumin murmurs. “MC is currently resting in my bedroom.” Not even allowing Jihyun even a moment to speak, Jumin continues, raw fury finally clawing its way up his throat. “While you were too busy crawling back to that woman, MC was busy dying out on the streets. Does that make you happy?”_

_Faintly, just faintly, does Jumin hear a sharp intake of breath._

_“I hope to God it doesn’t.” He utters, tremors and all. “Even after all of the crimes_ she’s _committed, to return to_ her _, you really do frighten me.”_

_When Jihyun still doesn’t move to speak, it only serves to be another thorn in Jumin’s side. “I thought I knew you, Jihyun.” He starts off unevenly, the bit of hurt striking the other. “_ She _changed you. I should’ve never allowed your relationship with_ her _to continue.”_

_Somehow, even though they aren’t face to face right now, Jumin could see Jihyun wince and bow his head like he always did during their past arguments. “I was always like this, Jumin. Leave Rika_ _out of this.”_

_“Oh._ Oh. _I get it now,” Jumin hisses, not even caring if the hostility dripping off of his voice is unbefitting of his character. “So when I finally get to hear your voice, it is to defend_ her _?”_

_Jihyun is quiet again, and instead of fury, Jumin could feel a wave of anguish washing over his nerves. The grip he’s had on the person, the one person who’s served to be his strongest pillar throughout all this time, is loosening. And there’s nothing he can do to make him stay. When Jumin opens his mouth to respond again, only the voice of a lonely, broken man comes out. “Was I,” he croaks out, “that easy to dispose of? Was_ she _that much greater than me? So much greater that you’ve forgotten your old friend?”_

_“... Rika—“_

_“—I really,” Jumin spits out, not even bothering to hide his cries, “I_ really _can’t stand to hear that name anymore. You know that?”_

_Jihyun speaks after a long pause, a certain dullness to his voice. “Jumin… I think… I think that the signal is getting bad here. We’ll have to catch up later.”_

_A click, and Jumin could only stare at the drops of tears puddling on the screen of his phone._

_What a fat lie that was._

_Every sound Jihyun made in the background, every syllable Jihyun uttered, every breath Jihyun took, Jumin could hear everything perfectly fine._

_So what a fat, fat, fat,_ fat _lie that was._

_(The next day, the photograph of Jihyun and him as children is gone just like the many years of their friendship.)_

* * *

Jumin tells you that you’re welcome to stay as long as you like after you wake up from your weeklong daze.

You accept, of course, since you don’t have anywhere else to go, but it’s not because of the size of his penthouse or his money or the kicked puppy expression his face shifts towards when you don’t give him an answer right away. Instead, you accept because although there are moments when you can’t stand to look at him, his presence strangely overpowers Jihyun’s existence from your senses.

Even though Jumin and Jihyun are childhood friends and complement each other in countless ways, you can’t help but think that their worlds contrast. Unlike with Jihyun, you don’t get to experience a flurry of colors or emotions by Jumin’s side. Instead, you’re submerged in a strange state of tranquility and composure, a tinge of coolness to it even. Now, there are nights of wine sipping by the window that overlooks the city lights, a place where you’re able to count the stars scattered among the sky.

With Jumin, you don’t have early mornings or coffee or simplicity—you have late nights and alcohol, and though you don’t indulge in it, luxury. 

It’s a change, a nice change, that forces your outstretched hand to release bygone days.

And before you know it, a month sifts through the tip of your fingers, quietly and subtly like desert sand. You didn’t mean to impose on Jumin and his hospitality, truly. It’s hard to keep track of time in the penthouse, distractions everywhere from Elizabeth the Third to a lush garden for private eyes only to a pair of eyes as dark as midnight hours that help keep your mind absent. Jumin doesn’t seem to mind though, to your relief, always changing up his interests to accommodate you.

You’re thankful, so thankful, that you pretend not to notice the edge and uneasiness that trails his voice whenever he asks if you’re happy staying with him like this, almost as if he’s afraid of you leaving. 

“I hope everything is to your liking?” His question asked in such a cautious manner, you’ve heard at least a million times before, and your answer has always been the same.

“Yes, yes, it is. Thank you, Jumin.” You say, running a finger along the rim of the wine glass, trying to make the pit of shame growing in your throat dissipate. You don’t even need to sneak a glance to know that he has that attached expression on his face again. “You’re too kind to me, really.” Then, you’re as still as the wind on summer days, voice trembling and all. “How will I ever begin to repay you…?”

Jumin is silent for a second, confused and tense as you’ve never asked him this before until his body leans back in realization. “There’s no need to repay me at all. After everything that’s happened,” his tone turns wistful as he adds, “I’m the one indebted to you. For leading the RFA out of the darkness, for teaching us about happiness, for staying despite all those troubles with Mint Eye… there are truly so many things that I have yet to thank you for. I know that I speak for all six of us.”

Ignoring how the numbers exclude one specific person, you murmur. “... You praise me too much.”

“And I”—there’s a slight falter to his words, almost as if he would regret them—”I love you, MC.” He blurts out, pain scorching his voice. The pain he’s uncovering in front of you right now, you’re no stranger to it, especially since you’ve seen and heard it so many times before. “Ever since you joined the RFA, and ever since our first party. I’ve loved you for so long.”

You honestly did not expect a confession from him any time soon. Opening your mouth to speak, you struggle to form any sort of coherent sentence and wilt, speaking almost inaudibly. You can’t lie to him, not now, not ever. “Even though I can’t return your feelings, you still love me?”

“Until all the traces of Jihyun are erased from your heart, I can wait forever.”

You can’t promise him that, you think to yourself, thumbing the ends of your sleeve to calm your heartbeat.

“ _My greatest blessing came in the form of you, MC._ ”

That’s when your whole world freezes.

Why…

Why are those words so familiar to you?

Where have you heard those words before?

Who’s spoken those words to you before?

Such sweet, sweet words that signal the beginning of an inevitable heartbreak.

You don’t avert your gaze, lips parted.

And Jumin simply clears his throat and loosens his tie, blooming into a pretty shade of pink and red. “That’s why… That’s why you don’t need to repay me.”

Now you realize why the way his face warps into one of adoration and yearning has never sat well with you. It’s because—

A blink, and Jumin’s no longer the one sitting in front of you. Rather, all you see and have ever seen is a man of blue staring right at you, shining as brightly as the sun. The memories of his smile, his eyes, his voice, his laughter all comes rushing back into your head. Suddenly, you’re taken back to the time when you were standing alongside the RFA members during a party and had accidentally locked gazes with him. And the way he gave you a friendly nod before shyly averting his gaze sends your heart aching in so many ways that you’d lose count.

Another blink, and he’s gone. You’ve only been gaping at Jumin like an idiot this whole time, not being able to tell the difference between hallucinations and reality.

All you ever wished for in this foolish life of yours was Jihyun’s heart, but as if to mock you, in the palm of your quivering hands, the stars gift you with another’s.

_Now_ you realize why the way his face warps into one of adoration and yearning has never sat well with you. It’s because…

It’s because, unlike Jihyun, you know better not to pretend. You know better not to put up a facade. You know better not to hide your truth for the sake of pleasing everyone else.

You know better not to fake a love for Jumin, hoping that, one day, you’ll get over the person nestled deep down within your heart.

Like how Jihyun’s past relationship with Rika had forever destroyed his ability to love you, your past relationship with Jihyun will forever destroy your ability to love Jumin. 

You refuse to entrap Jumin in this cycle you’ve been caught in. Instead, you’ll let Jumin go because you know there’s a better person out there for him somewhere. Jumin deserves so much better than you, someone who can’t and won’t ever be able to completely love him back.

Your face crumples up.

_Kim Jihyun_.

In the end, it all boils down to him.

You’ve always been in love with Kim Jihyun.

You are in love with Kim Jihyun.

Utterly and _foolishly_ in love with Kim Jihyun.

Truly, forever, and always.

And with that, Jumin knows that you won’t ever love him back, but deep down inside, he wishes that he can still hold onto a piece of your heart, even if it were just a fragment.

(He never will.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! So there it is, the long awaited part two :3 LOL, sorry if you were expecting a happier ending xP I was intent on having this end as angst and only angst, ha! Also, if you go back and read chap 1, you’ll spot some similarities here and there in regards to how the story is structured! Thank you so much for reading <3
> 
> original [post](https://mrhanjumeow.tumblr.com/post/619537193543876608/if-youre-accepting-requests-may-i-ask-the-sequel) on my tumblr at [@mrhanjumeow](https://mrhanjumeow.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> original [post](https://mrhanjumeow.tumblr.com/post/614070672073867264/a-fool-in-love-kim-jihyun) on my tumblr at [@mrhanjumeow](https://mrhanjumeow.tumblr.com/)


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